Jurnal Tucson red, 04 Feb 10

Sorry, T Red! Don't have any useful words for you...only time will heal the wounds. Take care of yourself. 

Why do you place your worth as a person, on someone who clearly doesn't appreciate you? Would you want someone back who hurts you, and does not respect your feelings? Look at this as a TOTAL blessing and move forward. Sure it hurts when you get stabbed, we've all been there, but moping, crying and being down on yourself, won't change a thing. It only continues to give "him" power over your life. I don't let men, or anyone dictate my self worth. He is not losing sleep over this, so why should you? Why does this persons acceptance of you mean so much, when he clearly doesn't care for you? Men cheat, cut the cord, let him live with it, and don't give it a second thought. Be glad you see the light, and the person he is. You DODGED a live bullet, and you're still alive...start living, and not thru the eyes of someone else. Love yourself first...before anyone can love you in return. He cheated, because he sees you as someone who is weak, and will allow it. Walk away, and show him who the better person is. Why would ANY woman feel guilty because a man can't keep his penis in his pants? Come on now, aren't you better than that? Best revenge is good living, and never letting him see you're hurt...be well, I will keep you in my prayers. Eat at least five smalls meals a day, even if your are not hungry, otherwise you will fall into survival mode, and your body will refuse to lose. Don't lose weight to get someone back...lose weight because it feels good to you, and you only.  

This is how I think abot relationships and it seems to help a lot of my friends and myself who have been going through similar problems. I call this my slider scale. This person who you care a lot about, and in the future will care less about....think about who they are...if you could rate them on a scale of 1 to 100 with 1 being the least compatible and 100 being the most compatible. What number did you give them?? Take into account the cheating, the good days and the bad, the things you have in common, and the things you can't stand about him. Did you're number adjust? I don't know what number you came up with, Maybe it is 50, 65, 79, or even 85. I hope no higher then that since he did cheat on you, but thats not for me to judge and determine. Take that number and subtract it from 100. What are you left with? Maybe at the least 15??? I hope you are following me as sometimes its hard to explain over the computer. But basically this person may be your 85, but there are people out there that are your 86, 89,95, maybe even 100. And when you can have any one of those numbers above 85, what makes 85 so great? Why would you then settle for a number such as 85 when you can have someone so much better for your personality?? My advice is that we all need time to grieve, but most of us don't know how to move past it. Set a time line for when you will stop crying for the 85 and are willing to start making yourself open and attractive to the 86 and up! 85 will end up being jealous and you will only have better in the future. Today is thursday, give yourself a couple of days, maybe till monday. Then say okay its monday, I am going to get up and make myself look beautiful. I am going to eat healthy and I am going to open my heart to someone that could fulfill a place higher on the scale. When you do this, you start to discover things you enjoy again and your happiness will return. You will be a better rolemodel, friend, and partner for the people you form relationships with. You have no reason to settle for an 85 when there are millions of men out in the world. :) I hope this helps and make sense. 

I was cheated on. I got divorced and filed bankrupcy (2004 was not a good year). I was afraid to date again as I did not want to feel that pain again. With faith in God, I "Got out of the boat" and he lead me to a wonderful woman with three great kids who I just adore. I learned a lot from my first marriage (so it wasn't a waste). I agree with kanan123 that we can "glamorize" our past relatonships. The first years of my marriage were good. The last 5 filled with a dunken, cheating wife were not (thank goodness we had no children). My life is better. God is good.