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Happy Humpday!
Have you ever done something knowing it wrong and hurtful to other people but did it anyway cause it made you feel good? I'm in a bit of a pickle and a dilema right now. I know I'm wrong but I also know it makes me feel like I haven't in a long time. And no, I don't mean pigging out on candy though i am really having to work on correcting that. Even if it fits into my calorie limit, it still needs to be dealt with. However, this is only somewhat about my weight. I can't really say more than that. Just wish I had the strength to stop doing it even though I don't really want to stop. No, it's nothing illegal...not drugs or alcohol or anything of the sort....more of less I made a new friend that will listen to me and talk to me about subjects I enjoy. Only problem is, he is a male. That wouldn't be so bad if it were just on the internet but he is a real life person. No, I don't want him, no I don't love him, but I do know how insecure my friendship with this person makes Keith feel. Oh the life of a stay at home mom....it sucks at times. I rarely meet new people and when I do do they really have to be someone that is gonna cause problems? Not that he has...he only bought my laptop, jabbered with me and came on worked on my computer. Yet, I know how I feel about some of keith's friends and hate that my friendship makes him feel the same way. Am I a bad person for wanting to continue this friendship? He is nice to me, we enjoy talking, he is happily taken and so am I...and even if we weren't....I have absolutely no attraction to the guy. I just wish Keith could see it that way.
Oh well, life goes on as they say. Other than being weighted down with the stress of the new friendship, I am feeling pretty good. I guess I was just having a bad week last week cause things do seem so much better this week...maybe it was the stress of finances and trying to get Skylar's party together? I hope that's the only reason I felt so down last week. I am a happy person and like to remain that way.
I am still looking for a job, hoping that will give me the opportunity to feel more alive and motivated as I do feel my motivation starting to slip. I can tell because at first I was journaling and entering ALL my food everyday....I find myself not doing that stuff every day anymore. Time to get back into it. I did enter all of my food yesterday and going to try to pick back up the momentum.
I have been either walking or working out with my TV every day...I just quit putting it in as it was only giving me an excuse to eat more. I would think ...oh wow I have a big deficit....I can afford to put some cupcakes in my mouth. so no more recording the exercise. Yes it will give me false information that way but I am hoping to trick my brain into thinking...ok you really CAN'T afford to eat that cupcake.
I hope you all have a great Wednesday. I have a lot to do today....clean house, do my Pogo badges (LOL) and etc. etc. etc.! Remember to love yourself today! Maybe even give yourself a big ole hug!
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1394 kkal
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Lemak: 57,48g | Prot: 70,82g | Karb: 147,00g.
Makan Pagi: 2% milk, Special K Chocolatey Delight Cereal. Makan Siang: Classic Yellow Mustard, Oven Roasted Chicken Breast, 45 Cal Whole Wheat Bread with Honey Flavor. Makan Malam: Chicken Breast, Four Cheese Mashed Potatoes, Velveeta Shells & Cheese with Bacon, Cream of Mushroom with Roasted Garlic Condensed Soup. Camilan/Lainnya: French Onion Dip, Classic Potato Chips. lagi...
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