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21 Agustus 2012
ok, now that summer is over, gotta knock this off, get started and forget about my stupid problems
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Sejauh ini Berkurang:
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Diet diikuti:
106,6 kg
0 kg
61,2 kg
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(3 komentar)
Memperoleh 0,1 kg dalam 1 minggu
16 Februari 2012
went out with sara on tues, drank 100 bucks worth of alcohol between me and lee and ate 3 slices of pizza, on wed we starved ourselves the whole day and ended up eating 2 slices of pizza and 3 breaded hot wings that night... not good... so today when i came to work, no biscuit, just 2 eggs and 1 sausage pattie.
gotta think about lunch and what's good and cheap.
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14 Februari 2012
ok, husband giving me trouble, working on JUST SLEEPING on a schedule, need to find another way, because i need to sleep and work out on a reasonably steady timeline with my diet... He's going back to waking me up at 3 and 5am to "drunk talk" with me and usually he'll pick fights with me, I know my girl friend really likes him, and he's really liking her, so lately his drunk talk is about me "Holding him back from something", then he denies all knowledge the next day when he's hung over. Hard to do when you look up internet history and see all entries are por ns of blond skinny women... who happens to look like sara... he's managed to smooth that over and you know what?? it's been ten years of him falling in love with one woman after another, I broke it off with him x3 because I RECOGNIZED that his heart wasn't with me, and even moved to a new city the last time!!!! But NOOOOOO he couldn't have that, he dropped everything in KC and moved to Omaha (4hours away) and has lied 3 ways to sunday to convince me he's my "soulmate", who happened to fall in love with another woman again and left me for a week before coming back, that was last June and here he is again, falling for my friend... stupid on my part right?
I recognize my stupidity and also recognize that I have some serious self esteem issues, I've allowed myself to stay with this insincere man for a long time, I've made committments to him he refuses to make with me... I know he's lying to me, I've let myself go physically and emotionally, Now I'm 130 lbs overweight. It is time to work on me and handle myself, he can cry over not being man enough to break it off with me, whatever. I need to get control of myself, then maybe I will have the strength to move on without him forever.
Probably the only way is if I pay for his gym membership and he will obsess over working out instead of obsessing over drinking every night and harrassing me. I think I enjoy anonymity :)
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13 Februari 2012
ok, didn't work out last week, this weekend bf was pushing me to drink with him, so I did, 4 beers and 6 shots of vodka, will try to remember exactly what we ate
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10 Februari 2012
omg!!!!!!!! just got paid today and freaked out! ATE A GIANT BREAKFAST, fruit, bacon, eggs, biscuit and gravy, already at 92% of my daily intake!!!!!!!!! holy cow I need to lay low from food for awhile
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