Jurnal cristinaxxs, 19 Jul 23

I hope that you can feel very good about the progress that you have made. Emotions can be helpful or hurtful. If you have a bad day and eat poorly, it is OK to feel some guilt. Those feelings lead us to make corrections. But, if you are feeling guilt frequently and unjustifiably, it is time for help. Finding that healthy relationship with food is what we all seek. Best wishes for you. 

💙💙💙 sometimes guilt is the feeling that sits on top of the idea that we are not worthy of self-love.  

Christina I wish you well. You are a smart girl based on your exam results... (Kudos by the way) Once you internalise that your body machine needs high quality fuel to operate, and that your body cannot grow and thrive on an empty tank, you most certainly can achieve the weight loss that you desire, just in a much slower, controlled and healthy way. Treat your body well and it will be kind to you. As to the whole skinny thing, I get it. It is a curse that I think most women have had to face as we are so harshly judged as being less than when not the idealised standard. Trends change as do the body shapes that go with them. I look at Kim K as an example. In my day, anybody with a ginormous butt was ridiculed. Fast forward 30 years later and people are getting butt implants to get the look. Makes no sense at all. I would imagine your generation with all of the social media BS have it a million times worse. The joke of it is, once you reach a certain age, looks are entirely meaningless. Visit a long term care facility some day and you'll see what I mean. Having a healthy body on the other hand.....priceless in the short and long term. 

Don't go off of how you look in the mirror. As a teenager it is not an accurate assessment. Avoid social media, it's not real. Most pictures are filtered or edited. Your doctors can help you find your healthy weight range for your age. Food is fuel to keep you alive and healthy. Weight fluctuates daily, so don't punish yourself with the ups and downs. Listen to the advice of your doctors and therapist as you go forward. 

Glad to hear you're getting help hun. Remember, baby steps. You've already taken steps to getting better, and it won't happen overnight. Be kind to yourself, don't let that brain of yours make you feel bad. Feeding your body is important for several reasons, especially growing into a beautiful young woman. Society, and it's messed up ideas of "skinny = beauty" is the worst thing for girls growing up. But I want you to know ... I am JEALOUS of you. You have a beautiful smile, a sweet, caring disposition, a brilliant mind (you kicked butt on exams!) and perhaps you don't or can't believe it, but you are VERY pretty. I am proud of you for reaching out and getting help. Love & hugs. 

You've been very mature about deciding how to deal with the various challenges that have come your way. May your moments of happiness sustain you!