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Wow, I just read my last post and it makes me feel good and bad. Good because I do remember how great it feels to be close to GOD and to be on my way to wieght that makes me feel good and healthy. Bad because I let myself get off track AGAIN. So i remember the day i fell of the wagon and it took me all this time to get back on track again it was superbowl 2/6/11 where i tasted papa murphys pizza and dessert for the first time and ive been chasing that "high" ever since going between 200-215 pounds. Right now im 206 pounds and its not where i want or need to be. I know it sounds wierd but I really feel like my overeating and passion for food is an addiction and certain foods trigger me into a downward spiral and that was one of them. But im back and all i can do is take what ive learned through all my diets, all my recovery, all my overeating, all my wieght loss and all my wieght gain and hope that this is the last time i ever let myself gain that much wieght. It makes me feel so unhealthy, so tired, so unattractive, so isolated, so differnet from everyone else and so desperate to be alone in my misery. That is not the life i want for me or for my children so i know i need to do something. I been praying about this stronghold for a while now but its not just about prayer, its about hard work and discipline only through those sacrifices can GOD give me the strength to overcome my temptations and the truth is that GOD always provides a way out of my temptation i just create distractions through overeating and all my other petty sins that I cannot see HIS way out. I need to do those for me. I need to have a sincere and honest heart and desire to change. GOD help me get there, I truly believe YOU are my only way. This week i will continue counting caloreis and incorparting a few things i learned from spike diet. Next week 6/26/11 I start SPIKE diet, pray for me.
Sunday 6/26: low day (1201.15 calories)
Monday 6/27: high day (1701.15 calories)
Tuesday 6/28: low day (1201.15 calories)
Wednesday 6/29: high day (1701.15 calories)
Thursday 6/30: low day (1201.15 calories)
Friday 7/1: high day (1701.15 calories)
Saturday 7/2: Spike day (3402.3 calories)
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