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I'm having panic attacks. Well, not really...but I'm close.
I'm a planner. Every project that I've ever taken on in my life, I've carefully planned - it has been the key to my success. If I haven't planned it carefully, it often has not worked.
So here I am - starting school next week and I am not ready. My plan is not complete!! And I'm beginning to feel the anxiety of it!
Here's the story - I had some tax problems a year ago and so I gave everything to my accountant in order to get it straightened out. After doing that, I had several set backs and wasn't able to pay him until about a month ago. So I don't have my tax forms back in order to apply for financial aid. I am expecting them any day, but I am waiting on them to be able to complete the application. So I will start school next week, GIVING UP MY UNEMPLOYMENT TO DO SO, not knowing if I even qualify for a student loan to pay my tuition!! Argh!!
My alternative is to not start school right now - to wait until fall to start this process. And yet, that seems like a long time away. I'm not sure I want to wait that long. But do I really want to start like this? - being worried about money and not being secure about it. My advisor tells me that I will qualify for a student loan for sure - but what if she is wrong? I cannot swing the tuition this semester on my own!
I also have a unique chance to start here. Since I have not "officially" been accepted into the program, I am being allowed to take up to 12 hours to use towards my masters, but I will be paying undergraduate tuition. That's like getting a SALE! The tuition is HALF of what I would normally pay. I'd be a fool to not take advantage of this. And I'm not worried about being accepted into the program - I more than qualify. HOWEVER - there's another thing that's up in the air.
I know I'm rambling. I'm trying to work this out in my head what I should be doing here and writing this is helping me to analyze it. If anyone has any input, though, I'd love to hear what you think.
All of this is affecting my diet...of course. I had a really hard time yesterday. I'm trying to avoid Atkins products for a couple weeks, but I just had to have something sweet yesterday. It is so apparent how my anxiety directly affects how I eat. I went through periods yesterday where I was "sick to my stomache" and I didn't want to eat a thing - and then I'd want to eat everything in the house when I felt "frustration" set it!! It was like a yo-yo!!
On top of all of this, I fell really hard on the ice on Saturday and I am really feeling it. My body is really sore. It sound strange, but my hips are sore - and they feel like I have worked out really hard!!! I am stiff and sore and I certainly don't feel like moving more. I went to campus yesterday and walked - both for some exercise and to just make myself familiar again - it's been a long time. I'm glad I did it - but boy did it hurt!
_____________________________________________________
2 eggs scrambled with sausage and cheese = 3C
1 cup of coffee with h/c = 0C
2 cups of iceberg lettuce with salad dressing, cheese and a little bit of tuna salad = 5C
1 Atkins bar = 2C
3 ounces of chicken = 0C
1/2 cup of green beans = 3C
1/2 cup of Kimbulie's famous cauliflower bake = 3C
1 ounce of chicken = 0C
6 slices of pepperoni = 0C
TOTAL = 16
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 Komentar
I hope you get everything worked out. My sister had so many problems with taxes & financial aid, so just know that you aren't alone. Her nerves were on edge as well. Sorry to hear about your fall... ouch! Try to rest up and try some Yoga or something... clear your mind for a few minutes each day!!
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: lorik
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I don't think that you can get federal Pell grants for graduate work but you should still fill out a FAFSA. Many schools use this to determine if you are elegible for scholarships. I urge you to call the financial aid office and find out if they have any scholarship opportunities for you. It is getting pretty close to the beginning of the semester so you might be too late to get any "free" money for this term, but definately find out what they have so that you will know to apply for the fall term. When you feel the frustration setting in take a deep breath or two and see if that helps to calm you. That may help keep your diet on track!
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: slease
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Thanks guys!! Slease, I'm not trying to get any "free" money. I don't really think there is any available for graduate work. I have talked to financial aid - I just need to know I can get a student loan to pay for the tuition. And that isn't going to happen until I get my forms completed, which isn't going to happen until I get my tax records back....hmmmm....its really hard when you have to WAIT on other people to do things to get your answers!! I think that's whats so frustrating to me.
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: Paige E
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It sucks not knowing what direction important events in your life are going to take. For me the thing I do- when I know that there is not much I can do besides worry- is to just breathe deep and think positively. Having an idea for a back-up plan helps ease the stress too! :D But when all is said & done, I just think that everything will work out for the best, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. I hope everything works out for you!
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: dietbanana
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You are doing AWESOME! You reached for a legal treat when you were stressed and that is GREAT! You are handling this better than you think. Changes are always stressful. There is a lot at stake here, but everything will work out. Try to take some time to breathe. Sometimes we have to take leaps of faith, sometimes they work out the way we expect and sometimes not. You are doing everything you can do to make it. Find out what the deadline is to withdraw from classes so you don't have to pay, usually it is about two weeks from the start, that way you have some leeway if your financial aid doesn't go through. If it helps any my husband was in this situation last year and everything worked out. Anyone would be stressed in your position, but you can choose how you handle it. Just let go of anything you cannot control. I'll be praying for your situation.
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: sararay
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You'll figure it out and all will be well. Don't stress yourself out too much, it'll only cause you more grief. If you're being advised that you'll definitely get aid then I think you'll be okay. Have faith!
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: kimbulie
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Stressful times like this can really make it tough, Paige. Sometimes no matter how carefully things are planned , life throws you a curveball. Take it one thing and one day at a time, and hang in there with your food plan! Ouch on the hard fall. Hope you're feeling better soon. :)
06 Jan 09 oleh anggota: mbhpro
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